We're So In Tune (LaFerry Songfics)
by LaFerry trash
Summary: Series of oneshots based on random songs (request at anniebriggshair on Tumblr) centered around the LaFerry ship. I own absolutely no music, nor do I have copyright in any way. The songs merely inspired the writing. (The Hunger Games one includes lyrics, however that one should be viewed as a crossover. No harm done.)
1. Be My Honeypie - The Weepies

**AN: Set around that first hour in the house in season 2, before Perry goes to the student paper. Featuring Evil!JP and the JP-is-possessing-Perry's-body-theory. I completely butchered this song, I'm sorry.**

There was an awfully cheery song playing in the background that made Lola Perry's eye twitch. LaFontaine had decided that… that _USB-stick_ was picking the music, since he was after all living in the computer, but that meant he got to annoy Perry every damn time she was in the room. Like right now. She had just witnessed him and LaF setting him up on their computer, wiring it to the flat-screen, and found an Ethernet connection. LaF had been all smiles and laughter, and JP knew all too well how much his and LaF's relationship annoyed Perry. So naturally, as soon as LaF left, he put on the cheeriest song about someone wondering if the other person loved them or not.

The song was so soft that it could be seen as a comforting gesture of JP, but Perry knew better. Besides, the song included the word _honeypie_. No good could come from that.

 _You don't love me, I will die_ …

She felt angry and sad all at once, and she felt ridiculous speaking to the empty room. "What are you trying to accomplish?"

The dandy, _so annoying_ voice filled the empty space. "If LaF doesn't _love_ me, the plan won't work."

" _What_?" She hadn't meant the particular lyric, obviously. What was he on about?

"They'll never notice the transition. And when it's too late, I'll tell them you left them by choice. That you'd rather be gone than deal with this abnormal university and their weird habits."

Nothing clicked, but she realised JP was going to try to do something to her. He was a flashdrive, but she backed towards the door all the same. She knew JP wanted a body more than anything. "You really think you can convince them of that? That I'd _leave them_ just like that?"

JP suddenly let out a series of beeps, and then spoke in a different voice, somewhat similar to Perry's own. "I couldn't deal with it, LaF! You've always been my very best, _female_ friend, and – this is too much, that and Silas is too much, vampires and demi-gods and nonbinary… I had to leave, I couldn't deal with it." The voice cracked back into his own, and Perry gaped. "That will translate into a letter quite nicely, don't you think?"

She sputtered. "You – you can't _do_ that!"

"Oh, I can. The Silas Ethernet contains a lot more powers than any normal one. Soon, I'll be in _your_ body, and I'll be of more use to LaFontaine than you ever were."

She hadn't noticed the tears start running down her cheeks.

"I have years of Silas Library knowledge in my mind. _You_ , you're useless. You _clean_. You hold them back. You're lucky they're so confident and never stopped believing in themselves, regardless what you told them."

The moment her blood had run cold was all forgotten, as she suddenly felt her blood boil, fury shooting up inside her like out of a volcano. But before she could get one word of the tirade inside of her out, a loud voice interrupted them from the doorway.

"JP, what the hell?"

Perry's body flooded with relief. LaFontaine looked sad, but their voice was filled with anger.

Her defender, as always.

JP's voice was suddenly higher. As if he was a _human_ with a working voice. "LaFontaine! We were only discussing –"

"Yeah, I heard what you discussed. I can't believe you'd do that."

"It's for the better. You and I are the greatest chance Silas has of surviving this. Just think of everything we could –"

"JP, _shut up_." She could see their fists shaking, and they marched forward to (" _No!_ ") rip him out of the USB-jack. Perry almost collapsed against the wall.

LaF ran over to her and grabbed her forearms, helped her up and sat her down on the bed. "Perry, I'm so sorry. I really thought he was – I never –"

"I know," she said weakly.

"I heard that song come on and I always think of you when I hear it, so I went upstairs and I heard – Iistened for a bit to make sure I wasn't misinterpreting it, and – Perry, you never put me down. You never made me feel like I was worth any less. You warned me and stopped me because you cared about me, and I always knew that. I am _so sorry_."

She heard it. She registered it, but what she chose to reply with, was: "This song makes you think of me?"

They chuckled and bumped her with their shoulder. "Be my honeypie, Perr?"

"Any day, Weirdo."


	2. Hanging Tree - Mockingjay pt 1

**AN: I decided that this one would be the most dramatic this short. But now I want to write more Carmilla/THG. But this ruined me, have fun crying.**

And just like that, in one single heartbeat, their worst nightmare had become true.

 _Are you,_

Not the way they had always feared it would.

 _are you_

But the outcome was entirely the same.

 _coming to the tree?_

And they couldn't breathe.

 _They strung up a man_

They saw it happening again, in their head. Over and over.

 _they say he murdered three._

In the middle of the riot, with LaFontaine in its midst, a soldier had aimed his gun at them.

 _strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be_

They hadn't seen it until it was too late.

 _if we met_

Until Perry was in front of them.

 _at midnight_

Until Perry was already bleeding.

 _in the hanging tree._


	3. What Can I Say - Brandi Carlile

**AN: the hardest thing about this was imagining Perry heartbroken after a breakup  
(I CAN'T BELIEVE THE WRITERS. **_**WILL**_ **. ASDLKFJHSADLKJFG.)**

God, they'd fucked up. So freaking big. _Big_ time. They couldn't breathe, and hardly even move, other than to weave their fingers together and claw and fidget and bite their lip so they wouldn't cry.

They'd _told_ her, after ten years of handholding, long hugs and closeness, LaFontaine had told Perry how they felt about her. Why they were so content not having a social life other than their best friend, why they always gazed at Perry's curls in sunlight, why they took a sick day when Perry got that boyfriend last year. Why they'd been so quiet when they comforted her after the break-up, and why they'd went straight up to that boy and punched him the next day.

She knew all of it now. They knew that they couldn't have gone with half-truths. Perry knew _everything_ now.

When they'd told her out on Perry's porch, she'd sat there quietly for a few minutes, before disappearing inside. After ten minutes of _nothing and their stomach feeling like there was acid swirling around in it_ , Perry's mom showed up and politely told LaF that they had to go home. She was obviously confused, because she'd never had to tell LaFontaine anything like that before, but Lola was crying in the middle of the kitchen and had begged her to _please, make them leave_ , so she did.

LaF was walking home. They didn't really know if they were, actually, because they couldn't see their own two feet through the blurriness. They trusted their feet to make the familiar journey back to their house.

She probably hated them now. _God_ , why did they do this? They'd basically ruined their entire life. Perry _was_ their entire life. Every year, every room and every piece of clothing they had held memories of the two of them together, because _they'd spent their lives together_ , and if – no, they couldn't afford to hope, _now_ – that was over. The tears doubled. What the hell were they going to do? All they had was _science,_ but science wasn't sweet and caring and everything they could ever want like Perry was.

They knew that if there was any way at all to fix this, they'd do anything, say anything. If they had to tell Perry that it was all a big joke, or a prank, they didn't care how much of an asshole that would make them seem to her. If they could fix this one tiny mistake that was bound to ruin their entire world, they would do it.

But they never got the chance.

Perry didn't show up at school. They didn't dare call or text her – Perry had the ball now, it was her move to make.

And time passed so slowly. They hadn't slept at all the first night, and at four thirty-three PM, they dug up their chemistry kit and locked the bathroom door to distract themselves.

Several days later, when they were still at the (according to them, simple) experiment, they knew why it wasn't working. Their fingers fumbled, their mind wandered, and their eyes dazed over all too often. There wasn't anyone telling them to be careful or to go outside and get some sunlight. LaF's mom was worried when they came downstairs with three burnt fingers – not that she minded helping them in the slightest, but Perry's mother had talked to her, and they knew the same thing LaF knew. If this didn't work out, their lives wouldn't ever be the same again.

They were sitting by the kitchen table, looking at their bandaged fingers, when their mobile started buzzing.

 _Perry._


	4. The Hymn For The Cigarettes - Hefner

They'd never forget that time Perry tried smoking.

They were all against it, of course. They knew biology, they knew exactly how it affected your body and how much it was going to suck. They knew how it affected your chemicals and made you addicted to it.

Besides, it was gross.

Unfortunately for them, it turned out to be a Perry-thing. She usually hated smokers who smoked behind the school and in prohibited areas, but smoking calmed Lola Perry's nerves.

It was one fight that would always be ongoing between them. LaFontaine would argue with facts – it was gross, it would put her in an early grave. Perry would argue back that she knew the facts, but she did everything else in her life in the healthiest ways possible and she couldn't set a price on the serenity that smoking gave her.

LaF would never admit it – because _they hated that Perry smoked_ , but they couldn't ignore the fact that Perry looked like a freaking model when she smoked.

Their favourite image of her smoking was when she would lie on their bed with them, staring up at the ceiling and just talk for hours and hours, not even need to touch, because sometimes it was enough just to look at each other – besides, LaF wouldn't touch Perry until she had eaten at least two mints.

"LaF?"

"Mm?"

"Why do you think … I heard someone in the corridor today, I don't know who. But this guy said something, he asked his friend how he could date a girl who didn't like the same movies as him."

"You're wondering why I'm dating you, considering our differing tastes in moving pictures? Hmm, it never struck me until now. Maybe I should reconsider."

Perry blushed lightly. "Shut up. That's not how I was going to put the question."

They nuzzled her hair softly. "We're different. We like different things, but it's not about what we like. Except each other, I suppose. It's about _what_ we're like, because that's what keeps us together, right? How can you still love me even if I spend fifty-five percent of any given day pouring over biology experiments?"

"How can you still love me even if I spend all that time cleaning?"

"Easy. It's part of you, Control Freak."

" _Weirdo_."

They were both quiet for a while.

Perry's voice was quiet when she broke the silence softly. "How do you think we're gonna end up?"

"Together. In a creaky house with ginger children and a lab room and a lot of messes to clean up after said ginger herd sweeps by."

Perry kissed their cheek sweetly, and almost whispered, "Some would say that that's stupid, and unimportant, that we should go out and do greatness. But it's the only thing I've ever wanted."

Their heart skipped a beat, just like it always did when she said things like that. "Hey, even if some –" they coughed, " _Carmilla_ – think that we're stupid, that doesn't matter. If that's nothing to them, and they think we're achieving nothing, it's their loss that they'll never know how lucky we are. Because it's everything to me, and I'm pretty sure nothing beats that."

Perry's eyes swam with emotion, and she leaned up to kiss them sweetly. They let her for a few seconds, until they pulled back and grimaced.

"I love you, babe, but the house will have to have a smoke-room, too."


	5. Absolutely Cuckoo - The Magnetic Fields

She remembered when they were fifteen, and they had started to date. _Everything_ had started back then. Not their relationship, not their life together, but all of the feelings and butterflies and kissing. She remembered when she hadn't been so happy about all of that, though. Particularly one afternoon, they had been alone in Perry's house watching a movie together – not just any movie, it was _The Notebook_. They had only just started to tell each other how they felt, and as in everything they did, they were being completely honest with each other and always talking and _communicating_ on Perry's orders and LaF's wholehearted agreement.

So when Perry started crying over the movie, LaF told her how they found it wholly endearing and very sweet. They ended the small speech with a line from their favourite song at the time, which was the cheesiest thing she'd ever heard. " _I've got a bad case of loving you, Lola Perry_."

She remembered thinking that they shouldn't. They shouldn't be falling in love with her – all she did was hold them back. They wanted to explore and see new things and find out whys and hows when all she wanted was to stay home and be safe and have a quiet life with order and brownies. They weren't fit for each other, and she told them not to fall for her, because she wasn't what they needed.

LaFontaine had scoffed and told her that that was bullshit. It wasn't until later that year, when Lola was trying to clean and they kept messing up even more, that they fully understood what she had meant. They were holding her back, making messes for her to clean up. It was selfish and mean, to be the way they were and want her so close when they just kept ruining things for Perry to fix.

When they voiced their concerns, it was Perry who reassured them.

"It's too late for that, Weirdo."

Now, years later, they both laughed at their younger selves' conversations. Because no matter how much sense it had made to them at the time, it had been absolutely, one-hundred percent _wrong_. They were a perfect fit, and what one had thought held the other back had kept them grounded. Perry kept LaF from going crazy with theories and experiments. LaF kept Perry from being just a crazy maniac who liked to clean.

Or, as LaFontaine so eloquently put it:

"We're absolutely cuckoo, apart, but together we're a natural fit. Meant to be. It's science."


	6. Fidelity - Regina Spektor

**AN: Use of Susan because younger LaFerry in the first part. Sorry that the last one was so short. I've been working all week and I'm working quickly to finish these when I get home before having to sleep.**

Lola Perry had always told herself that she was in control of everything in her life, including her emotions.

Her family was so free-spirited. They were the kind of people who promoted following your heart, but that wasn't a consistent plan, Lola thought. There was no order, which made her nervous, which made her anxious, and anxiousness made her want to be in control. If she was in control, she wouldn't need to worry about anything, because there would be no variables.

But Susan LaFontaine was a constant sort of variable. They were always there, never wavering, by her side, which was more comforting than anything. But Lola Perry knew that feelings were variables. They changed when a person did something wrong, and Susan could start to hate her any day.

They never did, but she stayed on her toes. Always waiting, always looking to make sure everything was okay, always anticipating a problem before it turned up. She needed to be ready, she had to be.

It didn't mean she couldn't enjoy the little things, though. She loved it when she and LaFontaine would watch a movie together and cuddle and eat popcorn. She loved that LaF always stuck by her, even when they went to university. It was all normal.

She loved all the things that they did together, but that was one thing. She kept telling herself that she was in control. She loved nobody fully, had her feet on the ground. Normal. LaF was her best friend, and that was it.

It wasn't until the disappearance, until the very thing Perry had dreaded all her life happened, that she realised it. She had always been afraid that LaFontaine would go away for some reason, and she had told herself to stay somewhat detached to be ready for that.

She hadn't been ready, because she had been lying to herself for all of her life. She had loved LaFontaine so much, for so long, but she never knew until it was too late. Until she had done the unspeakable – offended who they were and been awful to them when they were growing into themselves, and they had _disappeared_. Just like she'd always been scared they would. Just not like this.

So obviously, as soon as they returned, she poured her heart out.

LaFontaine wasn't used to Perry talking about emotions at all, but now it was all on the table and they couldn't imagine what would've happened if she hadn't started talking about it. Because now they both finally knew how the other felt, and it had been _too damn long_ because they'd missed years of kissing and holding hands above the table. Now there would never be enough of it.


	7. In Our Bedroom After the War - Gravity F

LaFontaine woke up with the sun stinging their closed eyes. It was an extremely rare occurrence, waking up because of the sunlight, because they lived with _Perry_ , who considered closing the curtains at night equally important to brushing your teeth.

But they remembered why Perry hadn't closed them the night before and couldn't help grinning. Not getting frisky, but actually staying up playing _truth or dare_. It seemed ridiculous, seeing as they were practically engaged and living together at twenty-five, but they didn't care. It had ended in a particularly heated make-out session, but they had both been too tired to take it any further, and had all but fell asleep while the kisses grew slower and lazier but also _homier and safer and sweeter and so great_. That was their favourite kinds of kisses – the kind where Perry was too tired to care about everything that normally plagued her mind all day. When all Perry did was press into their embrace and held them and kissed them again and again just because she could and she wanted to.

Their heart still beat faster sometimes, when they thought of how lucky they were.

They started registering their body and the position it was in – their back hurt. They were obviously getting older already. A familiar weight pressed down on their chest, familiar fingers intertwined with theirs, arms wrapped around them and legs tangled. They had one arm firmly wrapped around Perry's back and the other was angled so that their hand was tangled in her hair.

It was perfect. Until they tried to pull their hand out to bat away some of the hairs tickling their nose, and they realised their hand was stuck.

Their second hand was tightly gripped by Perry and cradled between her chest and LaF's lower ribcage. They couldn't move that. So they just angled their face away as best they could and held her tighter. They would take any moment of peace they could. In a few hours it would be time to make their daily calls.

* * *

Graduating from Silas while trying to save the place from the Draco-pyromaniac who suddenly decided to make an appearance (but thank god never touching the angler fish) hadn't been easy, and sacrifices had been made. Danny had been kicked out of the Summer Society. Perry and Kirsch had even gone to try to talk to them about it (they didn't like Carmilla or Laura since we came back to Silas, and I had expressed annoyance over their competitively too often to be considered), but to no avail.

Carmilla and Laura broke up. It was beyond hard on both of them, but Carmilla still took our calls. She never talked to Laura, but apparently she could accept Perry's interrogative questions about her wellbeing and my inquires about vampire biology once a week.

We called Laura and Danny every day. Danny was, as it turned out, relieved to be leaving the weekly mortal danger of Silas U, but she missed the kicks and the way of using her body regularly for something really important instead of just working out. I often suggested sneaking her into a zoo or finding some old member of the Alchemy Club, but she declined.

Laura was a mess. If her diet was bad before we left Silas, it was ten times worse now. I wasn't sure she ever ate real food, not even, like, sandwiches. She barely talked. We never saw the Laura we remembered unless she was watching _Agent Carter_ or _Doctor Who_.

It had shaken all of us, but them the most. I'd say Perry and I got out the most unscathed – at least we still had each other. She would still get in moods sometimes, though. There were days when my fiancé would just sit for a whole day and stare out the window (and let me tell you, Lola Perry wasting an entire day doing nothing is nothing short of a miracle), reminiscing the last month at Silas that we referred to as "the war", because it had been that violent.

It was never long under the surface for me, either. Mostly because I could see the Latin on Perry's stomach every night. I mean, I got used to it, but I would still have nights when it was worse than other nights. When the anger and frustration and helplessness would bubble up just under my skin and make me feel like I was going to explode.

But I had Perry. When she had bad days, I stayed with her and eased her out of it. When I had outbursts of anger and cried all night, she let me cling to her like a raft and told me in soft tones until that it was alright. _She_ was alright.

"It's over, LaFontaine. It's over."


	8. One More Night - Maroon 5

**AU. I couldn't do this in the canon. Don't judge me.  
The person who requested this didn't specify a ship which means I have to assume they meant LaFerry, even though I feel like this song is more suited for Hollstein. This was tough – it didn't and still doesn't feel very LaFerry-ish but I did my best, and I hope you enjoy it!**

They met at a college party. Perry was a German major from Silas University, Floor Don, and dressed in a flower dress under a black blazer, hair falling over one shoulder like a mass of tangible fire.

LaFontaine was from a neighbouring school, studying Biology, known as a general troublemaker. They'd set off the fire-alarm four times already this year alone.

Perry was supervising the Zeta party. LaFontaine had been invited by the Zetas because they were "like a bro" according to Kirsch and "needed to get laid" according to Theo. They spotted each other as Perry stood behind the bar to get a good view, chatting with the bartender, and LaF came to get a drink.

The curly mass and bright eyes caught them immediately, and instead of carrying the drink back to their friends, they sat down and started sipping it slowly, all the while gazing at her.

Perry, who still wasn't sure of her sexuality (or if she even wanted sexual relations at all) felt suddenly intrigued by this mystery person she couldn't determine the gender of. Maybe she wasn't gay or straight, maybe she liked people who didn't look like either boys or girls at all. Either way, she finally knew what people talked about when they saw a stranger at a party and just _wanted_ them.

So naturally, she ignored her instinct telling her to go hide in a bathroom, downed a shot of vodka and approached them.

They didn't speak for more than twenty minutes before they were headed off to Perry's dorm.

* * *

It didn't take long for either of them to figure out that they were completely wrong for each other. But also, so right. They were different. Perry loved order, LaFontaine was a walking mess. LaF loved adventures and risk-taking, and Perry was a religious rule-follower. Opposites attract, but they could never get along. Perry had thought that she wanted a stable relationship in her life, but she was forced to admit to herself that she was wrong. _This_ may not have been what she had thought she wanted, but it was definitely what she _needed_.

It wasn't a real relationship by any definition. It was rough, oftentimes hurried and raw. They barely knew each other. They knew each other's general reputation. They didn't know any personal stories, they had no shared secrets. They just knew each other's bodies like the back of their hands.

Most of the time, LaFontaine would come to Perry's dorm on weekends and sneak back out in the morning. Other times, Perry did, but not as often. She was more hesitant about the whole thing, even though they never discussed it. The sex was great, if nothing else for her mental health – the tension that left her after a night with LaFontaine could compare to no therapy she'd ever tried out.

Yet, she worried. She wanted to be normal, sure (and she knew a lot of people with similar relations. Laura and Carmilla, Danny and Kirsch, Kirsch and Will), but she also wanted to be _proper_. Or, as proper as one could be when going to a university like Silas.

She loved it when adults spoke to her like one of them. But they would ask her about her love life, and she would smile and shrug and remember the many hickeys underneath her turtleneck, and she would feel the shame creep up from the pit of her stomach.

She liked LaF, she really did, but she knew they weren't _serious_. It was just the fact that she wanted something serious. But deep down she knew that she would never be able to let go of LaF, either. They were the best stress-relief she had ever happened upon in her life.

She'd still tried to find something else, though. She'd tried it many times – telling them that _this was the last time_. She could never get it out. The words would get stuck in her throat, and then those lips would distract her until she couldn't remember her own name, let alone that she had been planning to say anything at all.

 _One more night_ , she'd tell herself. _I'll stay with you one more night_.


	9. Sex - The 1975

**AN: LaFerry angst and some drama! Swearing. There will be some misgendering, as well as more OC's than normal. I didn't want to use the normal characters for this because it's a cheesy plot and some characters' storylines I really didn't like. And some OC's I made up just fit in the story better than any canon character would have.**

LaFontaine could not believe the amount of rage their sixteen-year-old body could hold inside it for one single person only.

It felt like they were about to start boiling inside. They knew that was indeed not physically possible, but that didn't help calm their emotions one bit.

He'd been doing this for so long, but every time, it still upset them. Mostly because it upset Perry, but also in general and also because they may or may not be slightly jealous.

They had to make a physical effort not to punch him, and instead sit there and smile. It helped that Perry was sat between them. It did _not_ help that Perry was holding his hand and blushing.

"Come _on_ , LaF, don't look so pissed. You're jealous, but who wouldn't be? She's a catch." Robin Emerson smirked at them and pulled Perry closer to his shoulder. The image of her leaning her head on his shoulder made their heart sting. Perry was so much more than _a catch._ But he would obviously be the one to see her as nothing more than that. And they hated him for it, with a rage that could rival Harry Potter's for Severus Snape in the books before _Deathly Hallows_.

" _Very funny_. Such witty. Much smart. I'm impressed."

"Nice comeback, nerd."

"Creative nickname, jock."

"That's not much better."

"Imbecile."

He looked a bit confused, and Perry interrupted them. "Children, play nice. I'd like it if you too could get along."

"Honey, it's not my fault that your bestie gets jealous whenever I talk about our sex-life. She has an obvious crush on you."

"It's _they_ , and they do not, that's ridiculous."

"Yeah, whatever, babe. _They_ better not try anything while I'm gone."

"Rob-"

LaF huffed loudly. "You are _such_ an asshole. If I _did_ have a crush on Perry, that wouldn't matter, because she's dating you, for some undecipherable reason. And unlike you, I'm a nice person."

Perry rolled her eyes. "I said _be nice_ , but yes, they're right. They're quite the gentle… person."

Rob rolled his eyes, too. "Fine. I have to go. I'll call you tonight." He pulled her up for a long kiss, complete with pressing her against his chest until LaF looked away. Then he disappeared with a wink in Perry's direction.

Perry straightened her shirt, smoothed down her hair, and scooted closer to LaFontaine. "I know you don't like him, but –"

"Perry, please. He told me that you're a screamer, when I for a fact know that nothing like that has occurred between you two. I bet he's telling his friends the same things, and that means he's only using you to be able to talk about. _Of course_ I don't like him."

"Well… sex is to be expected from a relationship, normally."

"And does he respect that you don't want that?"

"He hasn't tried anything."

"How about verbally?"

"I'll admit, he can be pushy, but –"

" _Perry_ …"

"Let's not fight about this tonight? Please?"

"Fine."

There was a moment of silence.

"I'm proud of you for telling him no, though. If he ever becomes too much, call and I'll be there with the bat, okay?"

She laughed and pushed them lightly. "Thanks, Weirdo."

* * *

When they got home that night, they finally allowed themselves to think of everything he had said. They were glad Perry didn't believe him, because it was all true. They had a total crush on their best friend, and he was the only one who called them out on it.

And sweet, sweet Perry just wanted to fit in. Whenever they thought about it, they just wanted to wrap her up in their arms and never let her see Rob again. But that wasn't socially acceptable.

They sighed as they caught sight of themselves in the mirror. Lanky and clumsy, hair cut short but still longer than what they wanted it, acne all over, dressed in a buttoned-up collared shirt that had made some of the girls at school laugh at them.

They weren't in the best school for acceptance of their gender identity. They were lucky there was even a GSA, and even that was pretty empty. It had a total of five members, including them, and there was no males. No straight people were there to support the alliance either, except when Perry felt like tagging along, which wasn't often.

The leader and founder of the group was Danny Lawrence, an incredibly tall, intimidating ginger with an obvious crush on their secretary (they didn't need a secretary, they just had one because it was required for having a school club) Laura Hollis. Those two were all for discussing your problems, which they supposed was a good thing, but they weren't really a fan of discussing their problems with anyone but Perry. They liked Laura well enough, but they weren't a big fan of Danny. Too bossy and too… jock-y. Their fourth member, Lynn, was definitely friendly enough, but they didn't know her very well past having each other's numbers for telling when they couldn't make it to a meeting. She and her best friend Victoria were always nice and would always make a point of sitting next to LaF in meetings and in seminars when Perry wasn't around, which they appreciated, but still. No new bestie to discuss their crush on their current bestie with in the GSA.

* * *

"Hello everyone! Today's meeting is going to be about something that sounds very cliché, especially for anyone who watches YouTube, called 'straight girl crushes'. Anyone know what this means?"

There was a common mumble of "yes". LaF tensed up.

"Anyone who'd like to share?"

"Danny, you know basically none of us are big sharers," Lynn offered. Victoria nodded in agreement.

"We can still try to get more comfortable with sharing!" Laura piped up. "Discussing your feelings is always important, whether it's in a place like this or with your closest friend. But you all know that what's said here stays here."

"Exactly," Danny agreed. "However little or much you'd like to say."

Well, they sure as hell weren't going to say anything. They listened to Lynn and Victoria convincing Danny and Laura to go first, because they were the only ones likely to say anything anyway, no matter how long they tried to prompt something out of the rest of them.

After the meeting, they were greeted by the most unwelcome sight they could imagine. Rob must have just finished football practise (this was the only night Perry had to herself, without either of them) and was walking towards them in the stupidly slim corridor. Lynn and Victoria sidled up to them (Laura and Danny had gone the other way, probably to make out) to make room, and Rob smirked widely at all three of them as he passed. Their blood started to boil again.

As all three of them waited at the bus stop, they could hear him coming back. Lynn's mother came to pick her up, and they saw Victoria's lip curling in something that looked like disgust as he hollered, "Why, _look who's here_!"

They kept a cold demeanour. This was all for Perry. _Keep calm. No matter what he says_.

"Wanna pick up where we left off? Lola's got _such_ a –"

"Rob, I _really_ do not want to hear it."

"But you _so_ do. You _like_ her."

"Would you _shut up_ about that?"

"Why not? It's true. Maybe I'm tired of you pining after her. I should put you away for a while - there's no one around, and you could easily have an accident…"

Was he fucking serious? Then the stench hit them. _Of course_.

Victoria glared at him. " _I'm_ here. And you stink."

"You're pretty easy to get rid of, V. No offense."

"How exactly would you _get rid_ of me?"

"You're a total nerd. Nerds do as I say."

LaF could feel the adrenaline in their body already, as if it was preparing for the eventual showdown between them. He was literally inebriated on school grounds, debating how he was going to tell the girl beside them to leave them in order to make LaF "have an accident". Needless to say, they were beyond angry, their fists clenched and seeing red.

Victoria snickered. "You're an idiot. And you're drunk, drunk enough to apparently believe that I will just walk out of here while you do your best to put LaFontaine in the hospital. Not likely."

"She's not gonna _leave_ the hospital after I'm done with her. Lola's going to be so sad…"

He suddenly gave them a punch to their stomach that blew the air out of them, quickly followed by another to the side of their head that made black spots appear in their vision. They gasped for air but stayed upright as their fist made contact with his jaw once, then twice. He grunted and delivered a blow to their ribs that made them huddle over and wheeze for air. Blow, pain. Punch, pain. They didn't know who was worse for the wear when Victoria tripped him, and he didn't get up.

They looked at him – eyes closed, and they could see a bruise blooming up on his cheek. By the swollen and beating feel of their face, they looked even worse.

 **AN: Please review and tell me what you thought of this!**


	10. Young Volcanoes - Fall Out Boy

After they returned from the Christmas hiking trip and discovered the mess that their university had become, Perry was obviously upset. Her entire life had been turned upside down in just a few weeks, so it took a long time before Perry could really focus all of her energy on working to save Silas. She had always been a natural, but nobody, even less herself, had been able to look past her air of defiance and _normalcy_ to actually see that before.

Now it was clear, though. Lola Perry was a force of nature – and not in the way they had all known and loved before. She didn't just clean anymore. No, this Lola Perry was more forceful and a bit less about normalizing. This Lola Perry was tired of the weird that was Silas, and ready to take it on, make it submit. She was going to _clean this place up._

It was Perry who broke up Theo's and Mel's show-down fist-fight and yelled in their faces for them to _stop acting like children_ , and for once, they actually listened. It was Perry who sat Carmilla and Laura down and got them to talk about how they felt and why things had turned out the way they had. It was Perry who patiently explained to the Summer Society that all the points and qualities that made them pick Danny for vice president in the first place were still there, in fact only seconded by the fact that she was unwilling to kill anyone for _a festival hunt._

(Perry did _not_ sit LaFontaine down to explain to them why their reviving JP had been so hard on her.)

Obviously, LaF was by her side for all of it, oftentimes amazed but always ready to help, be it with bat or fist, a loud _"shut up!"_ or their medical skills. But the way people had always viewed them had changed. They weren't the inseparable double act anymore. LaFontaine wasn't just the creepy science one with constant injuries. They were more than that. And Perry wasn't just the motherly neat-freak. She had evolved more than any of them, and she was saving the school.

Well, they all were, but still. Laura liked comparing them to a team of superheroes. Laura would be the resident reporter, like Carmilla had once so mockingly called her – Lauronica Mars. Carmilla was the broody powerhouse like the Hulk. LaF was definitely Iron Man and JP was maybe… hm. Not so sure about that part, but together they'd be Howard and Tony Stark, probably.

Danny was the more eager and hungry-for-justice powerhouse. Maybe Captain America? Kirsch, in his playful disregard of rules, reminded her of Thor a little bit. And Lola Perry had become an Agent Carter of sorts. Bold, cunning and badass to the point of LaFontaine probably almost fainting several times a day.

Laura had (obviously, like everyone else there) been there the whole time to see the transformation from timid, motherly Perry to this still motherly but incredibly badass and intimidating Perry. It wasn't even that she was detached and just wanted it all gone. She was still herself, she still baked and cooked and cleaned in her spare time and she still scolded LaFontaine whenever they burnt their fingers on the stove during said cooking.

What Laura's "trained reporter eyes" had seen that nobody else had, however, was that hard glint Perry got in her steely blue eyes whenever she was about to go _take care of_ something – along with the resolved glance in LaFontaine's direction.

Laura had seen the same glint the night they let LaF lead them to the cave under the Lustig building. Laura knew exactly who Perry was doing all of this for.


	11. Palm of Your Hand - Ingrid Michaelson

Lola Perry was a realistic person, to say the least. She was the biggest fan of logic you would ever meet, honestly. She could always see, or _make_ herself see, the scheme behind a strange situation.

So maybe it was the fact that since Christmas she had been chased by a mob, found a group of people lying dead in their own blood, had Latin cut into her stomach while she was sleeping, and been attacked by crows.

Maybe it was the fact that when she tried to do something about all of that, she ended up getting bitten by an angry vampire.

Either way, she refused to acknowledge most of these things.

She remembered seeing LaFontaine's panicked face appear in the doorway before she blacked out. She didn't know what had happened while she was out, except that she woke up with super sensitive ears (being knocked out would cause an effect similar to that of a hangover, right?), a no-longer-delicate grasp and a strange urge to pounce on LaFontaine's jugular.

Just normal reactions to a blacking out. She simply wasn't herself, _obviously_ , but that was only normal after having blacked out.

"Oh God, Perr? Perry, are you okay?" they sounded panicked, their voice several octaves higher than normal, and she almost smiled. That was her role. She was the worrier, the mother hen. She only ever heard LaF sound even remotely similar to herself on the rare occasion that Perry herself got hurt, somehow. Which was endearing, but also scary when it happened, because it wasn't often.

"I'm fine", she told them and started to sit up, her head pounding, but she ignored it. "How long was I out for?"

"Several days, Perr. I – you –" they sounded like they were about to cry, and she couldn't blame them. She would've gone on a nervous rampage if they were gone for several days.

"Really? How – I didn't hit my head _that_ hard…" she didn't even remember hitting her head in particular. She smiled at them reassuringly, and they flinched a little.

"Perry, Belmond _bit_ you…"

She had seen Carmilla die and come back to life. She knew vampires were existing creatures to some degree, but this was still utterly ridiculous. "...oh. I thought if it was going to be anyone, it would be Laura."

"Perr! You sprinkled her with _holy water_ , I'm surprised she didn't kill you!" she could see them regretting their words behind their eyes, but she didn't know why. It wasn't like she was dead.

"Hey, Weirdo, she didn't. Everything's fine."

They sniffled silently. "It isn't, Perry, that's the thing. It really isn't."

"What do you mean?"

"In a sense, she… she _did_ kind of kill you…"

"Really, LaFontaine? You expect me to believe I'm some sort of ghost now? I can touch you just fine." She poked their arm, and she felt a tug in her lower stomach, which she ignored.

"Not a ghost, Perr. You're… you're a vampire."

That made her black out again.

* * *

It had been days, but she doubted she would ever quite believe what was happening. It was just the weirdness of Silas, the constant presence of Carmilla and Mattie and JP, perhaps some new chemical released in the air by what was left of the Alchemy club, that was making her feel so strange. She ate all the regular foods she always did, but she was still hungry. She set her alarm clock early, but it never managed to wake her. She kept accidentally breaking things.

And she avoided LaFontaine, because every time she saw them, she could hear the faint beat of their pulse and her eyes would zoom in on their neck and her body would tense up from anticipation just from the sight.

It hadn't been a simple task. They were upset, to say the least. With the library gone they were researching on their computer relentlessly, without much luck, and she didn't even know what for.

Every night when they crawled into bed next to her, she would wait until she was certain they were asleep, and slip out of the bed, the room, the house. She saw much better in the dark now, but she paid no attention to it. She was out there because it was calm, it was the same as it had always been, the dark. At least when she didn't see right through it.

She doubted it would ever really be real to her. It was the weird of Silas that was making her see and hear and feel and sense things she shouldn't. She was certain of it, and she stayed certain of it until the day she heard a roar and a scream, hurried down the stairs and found LaFontaine with a punctured neck, in agitating pain and losing blood quickly on the floor, an ashamed, terrified and struggling-to-control-himself JP standing by them with an empty blood bag in his hands, and Mattie and Carmilla growling over the broken blood bags that spilled all over the floor in JP's attack. Laura and Danny were attempting to keep the three vampires away from their friend while simultaneously calling for help. There was a joint shout of " _Perry, no_!" as she ripped past them to reach LaFontaine.

The blood would normally had driven her crazy, but LaF was on the floor and had just been _bit_ by a vampire who wasn't _her_.

So for the second time in only a few weeks, she found herself on her knees in a pool of blood, getting it all over herself, but this time because she was carefully hoisting LaF into her arms, standing up on wobbly legs, and following the scent of her better half back to their secret stash of blood bags.

She did her best to remember everything they'd ever told her about human biology as she attempted to save them. She could stop the bleeding, but she couldn't replace what was lost. That was LaF's forte. That was when they started seizing.

* * *

When they woke up, they woke up to their secret spot completely emptied. Their new vision told them that the bags had been ripped from the shelves violently, and their new sense of smell told them that they were still in the room. It also told them that something they couldn't describe, but was the very definition of familiarity and home, was there.

They sat up slowly and turned their head to see Perry curled up in a corner. There were empty blood bags around her, all empty, except one that she was cradling to her chest. There was blood all over her face and covering her lips, glistening, more tempting than ever before.

The realism of what had happened hit Perry as they moved closer to her, and for the first time in a while, she didn't want to fling herself on their neck. She wanted to fling herself into their arms and never let them go.

But first things first. She held out the blood bag towards them.


	12. Kiss It All Better - He Is We

**AN: This song was very binary-gendered, which I've ignored as a whole.  
This is short because it was painful to write.**

" _Perr… I'm not ready to go…"_

 _She wanted to tell them it would be okay, but it wouldn't, and she couldn't. Their punctured jugular was bleeding profusely, and she was doing her best to stop it, but it wouldn't. She was shaking so hard, tears filling up her eyes, she could barely see their face anymore. So she focused on not crying. She wanted to see them. They were her_ life _, and she had to see them, even as they left her._

" _It's… you'll be fine, Sweetie. You'll be okay." They both knew what a lie it was, even if Perry forced herself to ignore the pain shooting through her every cell to think that at least Heaven was supposed to be a good place._

" _Y-you won't be, though. P-promise me you – you'll take care of y-yourself."_

" _LaF…"_

" _P-promise me…"_

" _Fine, I'll – I'll –"_

" _Be with Laura and Carmilla and Danny…" they coughed. "Hell, even Kirsch. Promise you won't be alone."_

" _I promise, sweetheart," she said, with the clear intent to never see their friends again. She would be impossible for them to find by the time they found out about this._

" _Good." They smiled weakly at Perry, and she couldn't do anything but stare at them and feel the pain howl inside her. It was petrifying her from the inside out._

" _Perry?"_

" _Yes?" she choked out behind a wrangled sob._

" _Will you kiss me? One last time, y'know?"_

 _Another sob spilled out of her throat, and she leant down to press her lips to theirs in a desperate call for reality to go away._

 _She would never be the same again._

" _Thanks, babe." They smiled at her around the blood bubbling up between their lips. She leant her forehead against theirs, their noses touching, wanting to whisper words of empty promises of forever to each other, but none of them could bear to. Perry pressed one last kiss to their lips as they drew their last breath, a breath drawn in awe of being kissed by the love of their life. A breath that had been pulled from their throat a thousand times since the first time their lips met. A sound Perry had grown to love with her entire soul, but would never hear again._

She jerked awake with a violent kick that hit the thin wall. A prisoner on the other side yelled at her to go to hell.

Perry hadn't been afraid to kill the same vampire twice. But this time, she made sure nobody could reanimate the body.


	13. Somebody Loves You - Betty Who

**AN: AU-ish thing. SHAMELESS FLUFF. SAPPINESS AND EMOTIONS. FLUFF TO THE POINT OF DEATH. LAF IS A SAP. It's like 20+ years after season one, and in this, everything was calm after The Final Battle of season 1. Perry never had a problem with LaF's gender and they dated through most of their Silas years. Now married, so are Laura and Carmilla. LaFontaine's POV.  
This song was super fluffy and fitting and I loved it and that's why this is also fluffy and unusually long. WARNING: LAF IS A TOTAL HOPELESS SAP. Enjoy!**

It honestly _confused them_.

"Yeah, she was a bomb back then. Now she's all nagging and 'help me out for once in your life!'"

"They do get worse with time."

"Not just the nagging."

"We _were_ talking about the looks."

"Yup, gotta miss the eighties."

"I'm not that old, you are!"

They frowned, because they were a scientist, and not a lot of things confused them. But apparently, their male colleagues' lunch-break conversation did.

They weren't stupid, they knew that they were talking about their wives. But they couldn't project onto themself to find a problem like it in their own life.

Laura, sat by them, was giggling silently. Of course she was. She had married Carmilla, eighteen forever.

But the thing was, LaFontaine's wife looked just as gorgeous as she had any day of their teenage days to them. She had changed, of course, but they still couldn't imagine anyone more perfect.

"Oi, LaF, you've been married for how long?"

"Twenty-three years."

"Lola, right? How'd she look back in the day?"

"Great."

"How 'bout now? Not-"

"Do yourself a favour and shut up."

"Sorry, didn't mean to be rude or anything –"

"Well, you are. All of you are, stop complaining about your wives. You're all lucky they married your sorry asses."

Laura leaned into their side as people were hurriedly exiting the room and whispered, "I know _I_ totally can't complain, but I have a feeling _you_ never would, either."

"I have absolutely nothing to complain about."

"You are _whipped._ "

"It's not about being whipped, L. I just, I can't imagine wanting anyone else. Not even her younger self."

Laura's features softened. "You're just as smitten as you were in college."

"If not more so."

" _Adorable_. But it wasn't ever about looks with you two, anyway. Like they were saying."

"Definitely not." They almost felt offended at the very thought.

"Don't ever mention this to Carm, but I kinda think your proposal was cuter than mine."

"Nah, we were all sick of waiting for her to propose. Yours was great."

Laura's features softened. "You knew you wanted to marry her even back at Silas."

"That I did…"

"When did you know? Or, _how_?"

"You mean besides the fact that she's _Perry_? She would text me to get home safe every time I left her dorm. She would organize my homework when I'd had long days, so I could go to sleep without worrying about any missed deadlines. When professors came round to ask about what experiments I was doing, she would lie and tell them it was something completely legal in there. Whenever people would flirt with her, and I got even the slightest bit jealous or upset, she would give _me_ a lecture, about how I could never be replaced and that I should know that."

Laura smiled widely. "That is incredibly _Perry_ indeed."

"I guess I knew all of that time. It was just always there. I think when we started dating, we both kinda knew. Because it was _us_ , and we'd grown up together. We'd never find anyone more compatible for sure, and we were basically married anyway. And now, I can't imagine waking up anywhere but next to her."

Laura's eyes widened slightly. "God, now I understand why Carmilla complains about lovesick teenagers."

"Shut it, L, you asked."

"Yeah, and remind me not to ask you about Perry again unless I want a whole verbal romance novel delivered to my doorstep within two seconds. Does she _know_ what a sap you've become?"

"We all get better with age. We both got sappier, don't ever watch The Notebook with us again."

Laura scoffed. "You were bad twenty years ago, don't even try, LaF-I'm-not-crying-there's-just-some-frickin- _science_ -in-my-eye-taine."

"Hey, _you_ can't watch some episodes of Buffy without crying."

"Do not, LaF. Do not go there."

There was a short pause where LaFontaine pondered the benefits of releasing a new wave of sappiness upon Laura. They decided that the consequences would probably not be fatal. "You know, I'm just as excited for seeing her tonight as I was to spend the night in her dorm back at Silas."

"You did that every night."

"Still do, Frosh."

"You are _disgustingly_ cute for a fourty-two year-old couple."

"I know. You and Carm want some tips?"

They were interrupted by their phone beeping.

 **Mrs. Perry-LaFontaine (12:17 PM):** _**I'm going grocery shopping after work, and I'm working late, so don't wait up for me. Dinner's in the fridge, please don't burn the house down heating it. Get home safe, sweetie.**_

"Clearly," Laura stated. "That is positively nauseating."

"Carm's rubbing off on you."

"Y—"

" _Vocabulary_ -wise, you teenager. Now who's disgusting?"

"Still you, _Doctor Perry-LaFontaine_."

"That happens to be my title, thank you."

"Most people don't have their wives saved as the same name the bank worker refers to them, though."

"As if _you_ don't enjoy _Mrs. Hollis-Karnstein_ , Laura."

"Sure do."

 **Spouse 3 (12:20 PM):** _ **Sure thing, babe. I'll try my best. I still don't understand why I can't do the shopping, you're gonna be out ridiculously late. Be careful. Oh, and we definitely need more chocolate**_ **.**

 **Mrs. Perry-LaFontaine (12:23 PM):** _ **Because you never buy the things we actually need – we've been over this. And we aren't nearly out yet, I do also happen to know that you don't need it yet. Living with you for basically all of our teen years took care of that. Why do you need chocolate?**_

 **Spouse 3 (12:25 PM):** _ **What, I can't just want to stack up on chocolate? It's the food of science gods! ENDORPHINES! And yes, I remember quite well how fun it is to be stuck together on the couch eating chocolate but not being able to touch because you're as irritable as a sensitive bowel after a Thai buffé every month.**_

 **Mrs. Perry-LaFontaine (12:26 PM):** _ **Entirely unnecessary and very distasteful, LaFontaine**_ **.**

 **Spouse 3 (12:27 PM):** _ **Sorry. It's still true to this day, though. But will you get it?**_

 **Mrs. Perry-LaFontaine (12:28 PM):** _ **Fine**_ **.**

 **Spouse 3 (12:28 PM):** _ **I love you.**_

 **Mrs. Perry-LaFontaine:** _ **Love you too, Sweetie.**_

"What's Perry got you saved as?"

"Spouse. With a heart."

"That is _way_ too adorable."

"Don't I know it. You need to stop calling us adorable, though."

"You're the one who got sappy!"

"Our anniversary is coming up, I'm allowed."

"Sickly sweet?"

"We're not your cookies."

* * *

Perry slipped into the house about half an hour after LaFontaine went to bed. She did her best to do everything and move around as quietly as possible when she did her nightly rounds, making sure everything was locked down, things were sufficiently clean, and everything was in its assigned place. But knowing LaF, they probably hadn't fallen asleep yet anyway.

Her suspicions were indeed confirmed as she entered their bedroom to find them on their back, staring up at the ceiling with big eyes, as if they were trying to see things in the dark. Knowing them, they probably were. For science. "Hello, Sweetie."

"Perr!" the enthusiasm in their voice was still evident after all these years. It still made her chest feel warm. She quickly shed her clothes, folded them neatly and kissed them 'hello' before getting a big shirt (that was LaFontaine's) to sleep in and going to brush her teeth.

As she returned, they lay on their side, facing her side of the bed. Their face lit up again. "How was your day?"

"Oh, the usual, really." She got under the duvet and when they stretched their arm out, she settled her head on their shoulder. They wrapped their arms around her securely. "There was a few problematic customers, but nothing I couldn't handle."

"Obviously. If anyone can take customers, it's you."

"How was _your_ day?"

"Nothing exploded." She detected a hint of disappointment in their voice. "I may have gotten really sappy and told Laura a bunch of things I'm going to regret."

"What?"

"Well… the guys were complaining about their wives not being _hot_ anymore –" she could practically feel them rolling their eyes – "and I told them to shut up and that they were lucky to be married. Laura butted in about not having to complain which _obviously_ she can't because she married a vampire, and I may have explained why I don't need to complain, either."

Perry let her face grow into a wide smile, and chuckled lightly. "You big sap. You never speak up about anything except when you're on your period and there's a touchy subject."

"Yeah, well, it's our anniversary next week, and I don't want it spoiled because of my co-workers."

She angled her head so she was almost looking up at them, nose nuzzling their chin. "Solely for _science_ … what reasons did you give Laura?"

They smiled into her hair. "I said that I can't imagine wanting anyone else. And that I can't imagine waking up anywhere but next to you."

"You are so sweet sometimes."

"Not all the time?"

"Not when you blow up things, and you know it. You're very sweet when you compliment me to our friends behind my back and apparently give romantic speeches."

"Hey, I haven't blown anything up in a while."

"It's been a few months, yes."

"Huh."

There was a quiet pause, and Perry wondered if LaF had fallen asleep.

They hadn't. "Laura said she thought my proposal was cuter than hers. We're not allowed to ever say that in front of Carm, though."

She laughed again and snuggled closer. "It's true, though. Laura made a fantastic speech and Carmilla was in tears, and they'd had an incredibly romantic evening, but it was hardly _fireworks_."

"It _wasn't fireworks_!"

"Well, you never explain so that I can understand, and it _was_ writing in the sky. And not even you can actually move planets."

LaF muttered something about the Silas nightsky actually being very compliant, but didn't comment any further.

"Don't worry, Weirdo. I loved it."

"I worried a lot that you would think it was a little too extravagant."

"It _was_ , the entire school saw."

"Only the ones that were out at 2 AM looking at the stars."

"Still, it was very public."

"Please, like it was a surprise to anyone."

"That you'd propose with a literal pun? Of course not."

"Hey! I had that planned out since I was _nine_. It was the pun of my life!"

"' _It's written in the stars, so you can't really say no_ ' was the pun of your life? What a scientist I'm married to…"

They loved this playful and teasing side of Perry. "You said _yes_ to this scientist, remember?"

"I suppose I did." She propped herself up on an elbow so that her face was above theirs. "It was lovely. I know I complain, but you almost literally put up stars for me. How could I not love it?"

"Beats me." They looked up at her. "Do you think it was, though? Written in the stars?"

"…honestly, LaFontaine, I'm not sure I can handle you this sappy."

They playfully swatted her shoulder – because they knew she liked it, and she knew they knew that, so she chuckled and rested her head back down on their shoulder. "Of course it was."

* * *

 **PLEASE review.**


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